Remember this?
This was last year. See how idyllic, serene, and full of Christmas spirit it all appears to be?? Well, apparently, it was a fluke. I think I may be experiencing gingerbread rage, similar to road rage but with sugar, frosting, and gumdrops.
Last year after a failed attempt at making gingerbread house ornaments for my tree, I finally gave up the notion of baking my own gingerbread houses for the kids to decorate and purchased a pre-made kit. I really must have lucked out and bought the all-time best pre-baked kit for novices....ever. It was so easy and fun...last year.
It was so much fun in fact I thought we would do it twice in 2009. I picked up some Halloween gingerbread house kits for us to decorate back in October. It was a disaster. The frosting wouldn't stick and parts kept breaking off the gingerbread panels. We chunked it all in the garbage and I vowed to not buy that brand again at Christmas time. So, I did a special search and brought home what I thought was the same kit as last year's. It turns out I bought the exact stupid kit I had purchased for Halloween but now it was dressed up for Christmas. I decided I probably hadn't taken my time back in October and headed into this thinking, "If I just go step by step, I can do it....no problem." That's what I thought. Tyler and Doug headed to the mountains to snowboard today and the girls were bummed about staying here at the house. I offered the gingerbread kit as a diversion and had them both sit down at the table to get ready to decorate. It was then I realized that the geniuses at Wilton apparently believe we have countless hours to spare on gingerbread insanity. They wanted me to frost one section and let it dry 1 hour....followed by the second section and another hour of drying....followed by the roof and 2-3 hours of drying. I backed the girls off and started mixing the frosting. At Halloween, it wouldn't stick and so the directions said to add a tbs. of powdered sugar if it was too thin. After 6 tbs of sugar, it was better but still not thick enough (I later learned).
I spent a ton of time standing there waiting for one wall and the front of the house to stick together. They would not. I finally gave up and decided to hot glue the SOB (Seriously Obtuse Baked product). It worked wonders and in a matter of minutes, not hours, the girls were happily decorating, except for the fact that the
#$@%^ frosting wouldn't get hard and all of the gumdrops and candies kept sliding down the house, and roof, and doors, and windows.
We finally finished and the girls had fun. That's what really matters. However, next year, I will not purchase a Wilton kit. They're on my naughty list...perhaps I'll send a lump of coal their way.
Where, you may ask, was Jacob during this time? Well, my friends, he was helping in his own special way. He climbed under the Christmas tree, chewed on Grandma's present, and then ripped and ate part of the paper from Tyler's gift. He then emptied the cabinet of all its pots and pans and attempted to do the same to the kitchen garbage can but was derailed when he shut his fingers in the cabinet door. He decided he was having more luck at the tree and so motored back over to pull down a few ornaments prior to attempting to eat some fake snow from the gingerbread house yard. Like I said, very helpful. :)
Having said all of this, I do make a mean gingerbread cookie....but apparently, that's about it. :) Have a happy day.
